Someone you love is having surgery. Here’s how you can help.

Your mom, husband, sister, or best friend has surgery coming up. You want to help. But what actually makes a difference?

As an anesthesiologist, I’ve cared for more than 20,000 surgical patients. And here’s something I wish more families knew:

Recovery doesn’t start when someone leaves the operating room. Preparation starts weeks before they arrive.

When someone you love is having surgery, you may feel helpless. You can’t perform the operation, control the anesthesia, or guarantee how recovery will go.

But you can make a meaningful difference in how prepared they are and how well they’re supported afterward.

Here are the things I would focus on.

Before surgery: help them prepare, not just wait

1. Help them build strength.

Surgery challenges the body’s strength and endurance. Even small improvements in physical fitness before surgery can help patients prepare for those demands.

Take a walk together. Encourage gentle strength exercises. Help them stay active within their abilities and their surgical team’s instructions.

What you can do: Be their walking partner. Make movement something you do together.

2. Make nutrition a priority.

Protein provides the building blocks for muscle maintenance and tissue repair. Surgery increases the body’s nutritional demands, yet many patients struggle to eat enough protein during recovery.

Start before surgery.

Help them plan protein-rich meals, stock their kitchen, and stay hydrated. Include foods that provide vitamins and minerals important for normal immune function and tissue health.

What you can do: Prepare a few protein-rich meals they enjoy. Think eggs, Greek yogurt, chicken, fish, beans, or protein smoothies.

3. Protect their sleep and peace of mind.

Having surgery can be stressful. There are appointments, instructions, unanswered questions, and the uncertainty of recovery.

Help them protect their sleep. Encourage a consistent bedtime, a calming evening routine, and time to talk about what’s worrying them.

You don’t need to have all the answers.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is listen.

What you can do: Take something off their to-do list. Walk with them, practice slow breathing together, or simply ask what they’re most worried about.

4. Help them understand their surgical plan.

One of the most valuable things you can do is help someone become an informed patient.

Before surgery, make sure they understand:

• Which medications and supplements they should stop or continue.
• When they need to stop eating and drinking.
• Their plan for pain and nausea after surgery.
• What movement restrictions they’ll have.
• Which symptoms mean they should call their surgical team.

Offer to attend an appointment, take notes, or help organize their instructions.

What you can do: Write down their questions before the appointment. It’s surprisingly easy to forget them when you’re sitting in the doctor’s office.

Prepare their home before they come back

This is one of my favorite ways to support someone having surgery.

Think about what their first 72 hours at home will look like.

Will they have to climb stairs? Bend down to get medication? Cook dinner? Walk the dog? Pick up children?

A little preparation can make those first days much easier.

Create a recovery-ready home

• Wash the sheets and prepare a clean, comfortable place to rest.
• Put water, a phone charger, medications, and important numbers within easy reach.
• Stock the refrigerator with easy, protein-rich meals and snacks.
• Clear walkways and remove tripping hazards.
• Arrange rides, childcare, pet care, and grocery deliveries.
• Pick up prescribed medications and necessary supplies ahead of time.
• Keep the surgeon’s discharge instructions somewhere easy to find.

You don’t need to turn their home into a hospital.

You just want to make everyday life easier while their body is healing.

After surgery: help them recover, one day at a time

5. Keep nutrition and hydration going.

The days after surgery can be challenging. Appetite may decrease. Nausea, pain, medications, and fatigue can make eating difficult.

But the body still needs protein, fluids, and nutrients to support normal healing.

Offer small meals throughout the day. Keep water within reach and help them follow their nutrition plan.

What you can do: Instead of asking, “Are you hungry?” try, “Can I make you some eggs or a smoothie?”

Sometimes people need help making the healthy choice the easy choice.

6. Encourage safe movement.

Rest matters. So does movement.

After many surgeries, getting up and walking as directed can help maintain strength, support bowel function, and reduce certain complications.

The amount and timing depend on the procedure.

What you can do: Help them take their first walks when cleared, offer a steady arm if needed, and encourage gentle progress without pushing beyond their restrictions.

7. Pay attention to the little things.

Some of the biggest recovery challenges aren’t dramatic.

They’re constipation, nausea, poor sleep, discomfort, brain fog, and difficulty keeping up with medications.

Check in on how they’re doing each day.

Are they drinking? Eating protein? Moving? Passing gas or having bowel movements? Is pain manageable? Are they sleeping? Is their thinking clear?

And pay attention to whether things are improving.

Increasing pain, fever, worsening incision redness or drainage, persistent vomiting, or new confusion deserve a call to the surgical team. Trouble breathing, chest pain, or other severe symptoms require emergency evaluation.

What you can do: Help them keep a simple daily recovery log so they can notice changes and share concerns with their care team.

8. Remember that feeling better isn’t the same as being healed.

This is especially important.

Someone may feel remarkably better several days after surgery. They may want to clean the house, return to exercise, or catch up on everything they’ve missed.

But tissue healing continues long after the first week.

Encourage progress while helping them respect their surgeon’s restrictions.

What you can do: Remind them that their job right now is to heal. The laundry, errands, and dishes can wait.

The most important thing? Ask what they need.

Every patient is different.

Some want company. Others want quiet.

Some need help organizing medications. Others need someone to handle their children, meals, or responsibilities at work.

Try asking:

“What’s one thing I can take off your plate today?”

Then follow through.

And remember that caregivers need support, too. Share responsibilities when possible so no one person is carrying everything.

Why I created GlowWell®

I’ve spent my career caring for patients on the day of surgery. But I’ve also experienced what it’s like to watch someone I love go through a difficult surgical recovery.

I know how much families want to help—and how hard it can be to know where to start.

That’s part of why I created GlowWell.

Our READY Method™ Guidebook turns surgical preparation into a practical, day-by-day plan built around five areas:

• REBUILD: Strength, movement, and physical readiness.
• ENERGIZE: Protein, nutrition, hydration, and gut health.
• ALIGN: Medication safety, health risks, and your surgical plan.
• DE-STRESS: Sleep, breathing, and managing stress.
• YOU: Confidence, daily habits, and taking an active role in preparation.

It includes 14 days of preparation, seven days of postoperative recovery tracking, questions for your surgical and anesthesia teams, and resources for caregivers.

Because preparation should involve more than showing up with a surgery date.

And recovery deserves more than a list of discharge instructions.

One last thought

If someone you love is having surgery, you don’t need medical training to make a difference.

Walk with them. Help them eat well. Listen to their concerns. Prepare their home. Keep showing up after surgery, when the flowers have faded and everyday life starts again.

You can’t do the healing for someone you love. But you can help create the conditions that support it.

And sometimes, that’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.

Your Prep Is Your Power.™

Dr. Cherie Long

Board-Certified Anesthesiologist | Founder, GlowWell